A few extra thoughts rattling around my head in the night...
1) This piece was a little more stream-of-consciousness than usual. The details of the first half weren't strictly needed to make a point; I just felt like sharing today. Also I meant to include that I was 29 when we first started trying for kids. I know many people assume most people who have to resort to IVF just waited too long. I don't believe that was the case for us, nor was it the case for several of my close friends who also had to go that route.
2) I missed the chance to point out one of the most obvious inclusion trade-off related to the hearings. They chose to focus on black mothers. This was an *exclusive* move--they chose not to include mothers of other races. You could argue this was the right or the wrong thing to do, but it undeniably allowed for the effort to focus on the unique factors affecting black moms, of which there are many. Personally, I don't begrudge them the lack of inclusion here (though from a "race-class narrative" perspective, it could arguably be a missed opportunity for coalition-building, since the laws being discussed would help all women). But regardless, it does make implication of "inclusion is always a good thing" come across as a bit hypocritical. Sometimes focus is needed.
I’m writing this without having read your appendix!
It struck me that there’s more than enough blame to go around on the Congressional issue you cite at the end. The members using the phrase “birthing person” could have avoided it entirely or couched it in a less provocative way. It’s pretty easy to predict that people outside your tribe might find it jarring, so much so that future conversations might be shut down before they even start.
The conservative cranks could have made a joking reference and then gone on to engage with the substance of the other side’s position. And thus forward movement goes on!
Finally, as the father to two highly irritating supposedly adult children I must say that I frequently forget how fortunate we are that they’re in the world and doing well.
A few extra thoughts rattling around my head in the night...
1) This piece was a little more stream-of-consciousness than usual. The details of the first half weren't strictly needed to make a point; I just felt like sharing today. Also I meant to include that I was 29 when we first started trying for kids. I know many people assume most people who have to resort to IVF just waited too long. I don't believe that was the case for us, nor was it the case for several of my close friends who also had to go that route.
2) I missed the chance to point out one of the most obvious inclusion trade-off related to the hearings. They chose to focus on black mothers. This was an *exclusive* move--they chose not to include mothers of other races. You could argue this was the right or the wrong thing to do, but it undeniably allowed for the effort to focus on the unique factors affecting black moms, of which there are many. Personally, I don't begrudge them the lack of inclusion here (though from a "race-class narrative" perspective, it could arguably be a missed opportunity for coalition-building, since the laws being discussed would help all women). But regardless, it does make implication of "inclusion is always a good thing" come across as a bit hypocritical. Sometimes focus is needed.
I’m writing this without having read your appendix!
It struck me that there’s more than enough blame to go around on the Congressional issue you cite at the end. The members using the phrase “birthing person” could have avoided it entirely or couched it in a less provocative way. It’s pretty easy to predict that people outside your tribe might find it jarring, so much so that future conversations might be shut down before they even start.
The conservative cranks could have made a joking reference and then gone on to engage with the substance of the other side’s position. And thus forward movement goes on!
Finally, as the father to two highly irritating supposedly adult children I must say that I frequently forget how fortunate we are that they’re in the world and doing well.