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"Intuitions come first, strategic reasoning second." Never heard it put that way before, but that definitely resonates with me. And I try to resist the impulse to go with intuition in an attempt to find "truth," but it's very hard. Not only is it hard, it's exhausting. It feels like for every question, there is data on both sides. Or multiple factors. So simple solutions don't work. Policing and the criminal justice system are perfect examples. It certainly *feels like* there is systemic racism. But if you define "systemic racism" as laws/rules that are in place to exclude or punish one race over the other (ex: Jim Crow laws), is there? There is certainly unequal treatment in our criminal justice system, but how much is class and how much is race? How much is not "systemic" but just due to individual biases on the part of police/lawyers/judges? And does it make a difference to distinguish what is bias and what is truly institutional? How much is long-standing cultural and multi-factorial? I'm reading "Ghettoside" by Leovy that Graham recommended and the issues are very, very complex. The problem is that simple narratives won't give you solutions. And you can't find solutions until you untangle all the many complex problems. Yeah, exhausting.

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Definitely exhausting. I am also reading Ghettoside--both jarring and revealing of just how little I know about policing or gang life. I think in my efforts to re-examine everything I took as obvious and scrutinize the data from multiple perspectives, my ultimate takeaway is just to be humbled. And to re-scope. The fact is, I can't fix the criminal justice system. But I can volunteer in my own community. I can promote open conversations and open mindedness, and hope it has a ripple effect. In retrospect, it's pretty nuts that I ever thought defunding the police and implementing socialism were such obvious solutions that you'd have to be racist to oppose them.

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